The Man Who Made Off With Everyone's Loot – Bernie Madoff

The Man Who Made Off With Everyones Loot Bernie Madoff Image

Boy am I glad that Bernie Madoff wouldn't let me join his club. As someone who has always wanted to have access to the Old Boy Network I can honestly say that I feel lucky that I didn't have a few million in Bernie's pockets.

While I was hanging onto a few percentage points of interest in the Bank (on my loot) I envied all the fat cats that were making 20 percent on their cash. But now I feel vindicated. Instead of being a loser, I feel like a winner.

It turns out that I am smarter than Mort Zuckerman and Steven Spielberg. You know why? Both of these men (and lots of other heavy weights) were caught with their pant pockets down when Madoff went belly up.

This could very well be the first time I am glad I didn't have $30 million burning a hole in my pocket. Of course I would never have had that much cash on hand. After all, a girl has to shop, and lately the bargains at Barney's and Bloomingdales would have tempted me to give my cash to them not Madoff. I will tell you shopping is much more fun than therapy (and dating) and you get to see your investment as soon as the cash register rings. Not like with a hedge fund. You can't wear your hedge fund. You can't touch your hedge fund cash..so why hand all your loot over to a man whose name is really Made Off.

I know one person who would feel like a genius (other than me) right now. It would be Groucho Marx. The man with the lowest self-esteem of his generation said, I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.

And guess what? Right now (when it comes to money) I couldn't agree more. I think I will just admire my saving account pass books and dream about all the loot I saved by not investing with Bernie